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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Kara

Hello my name is Kara and i would like to share my first time experience with you. I was 16 when i lost my virginity and i am currently 19.

I lived in a small neighborhood, and i was best friends with my neighbor, Darren. I had met him at age 7 and we had always been close since then. We would go everywhere together, we played, we cried, we laughed, we argued.....everything possible that happens between friends at that age lol. Darren was always there for me, i remember when my mom got sick and she was was very close to death (thank god she survived) he was there holding my hand telling me everything would be ok, we were only 9 at the time.

We never looked at eachother as more than friends untill the age of around 11. i was sitting in my room watching tv and Darren had walked in to join me (like always) he sat next to me and we started to watch the movie, i seriously can't remember the name of it, but it was a romance movie. The couple in the movie kissed at the end, it was really tense between us for some reason so i turned to him to make a joke, but his eyes met mine and he slowly kissed me. Thats when it all began......A few weeks later we shared are second kiss at exactly 12:00 midnight outside of my house behind our tree, kissing him was like forgetting all of the stress and worry in my life and being free, i loved every minute of it. He took my hand and pressed against his chest and gently placed his against mine, and he said, i remember it word for word (theres no way i could ever forget) he said, "Kara my heart is yours now and yours mine, your my girl and i promise you Kara you always will be". I don't know why but tears streamed down my face and i couldn't help but hold him in my arms.

Around the age of 12 i noticed my body had started to change. On my 12th birthday i got my period, it was the worst day of my life. I was in the pool with Darren and we were messing around throwing water at eachother as usual.....i stopped because i felt something warm between my legs, when i looked down, i saw a faint trace of blood in the water i realized where it was coming from and i started to Panic, Darren saw me and the blood he rushed towards me, and for some reason i felt ashamed, for the first time since age 7 when we met, i pushed him away from me, i yelled at him, i told him to get away from me and i hurt him. Later on that day my mom told me what was happening to me.

I didn't see Darren for 2 days (the most we had ever been apart) i knew he was confused as to what had happened and he was hurt...so i built up the courage to go to his house and apologized for the way i acted. I was in pain because i was on it still and i felt weak. I guess he coul d just tell because when i walked into his house his face lit up and he slowly walked toward me not knowing whether i was still angry. I gave him a warm smile and this look of relief swarmed his face he grabbed me up and hugged me, he kept apologizing to me even though we both knew he had done nothing wrong. I had always loved Darren but i do believe that at that presice moment in time i had definatly fallen in love with him

In grade school everyone knew us as Bestfriends, if someone saw me they would ask for Darren and vice versa, in school Darren never made it seem like i was his girlfriend (he wasn't into holding hands or kissing, none of it), he would only do stuff like that out side of school. At the age of 14 things started changing. Darren was always cute to me but when he started growing up i guess it became apparent to everyone else. By 9th grade he was one hunk of i guy he was already aroun 5"8 he was muscular and he had the most beautiful and simplistic 8th world wonder smiles i had ever seen. I was different to of course, everything was. I remember the day Darren made me his girl in front of everyone....(i was always his girl, but we didnt that way till now).

I was standing at my locker opening it up when this sophmore came up behind me, he put his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him, he whispered in my ear and it made me feel sick (i wont repeat what he said). i turned around and shoved him off thats when he forcefully pressed me up against my locker and started necking me and feeling me up, The whole entire thing caught me off gaurd, i kept pushing and shoving him but its like i couldn get him off of me, all of his friends crowded us and they were laughing...i kept thinking where is Darren??

thats when i heard his voice, he had never ever cursed around me but what he had seen made him a totally different guy, i just heard him scream half way across the hall "what the fuck are you doing Duncan" and then it sounded as if he started to run towards us. I never forget his facial expression because it scared the living hell out of me. He pulled the kid off of me and threw him on the ground he started punching him and i couldnt believe the amount of anger i saw in him. I quickly pulled on him to get him off and when i finally broke him free the guys face was full of blood, and Darren wasn't even phased he just screaming "don't you ever fucking touch my girl again Duncan!!!". He turned to me as the teachers rushed towards the scene, he said he was sorry for doing it in front of me, he kept checking me to see if i was bruised and he kept asking me if Duncan had hurt me, he saw the fear in my eyes and he lightnened up his aproach, brought me close to him and for the first time at school he kissed me.

Darren was suspeneded for a week. which totally sucked because duncan was only suspeneded for 3 days and those two days he kept following me and leaving disgusting notes in my locker, but when Darren got back to school he disapeered. After that Darren and i held hands in the halls, we kissed every now and then at lunch, and he was extremely protective over me to the point where he didnt want me wearing mini skirts to school....lol (i know i know) but i loved him so it didn matter.

I was 16 when i lost my virginity, and thank god it was to Darren. We hadn't planned it i think thats what made it so special. I lost it on a beach which everyone thinks is completely exotic and wierd but i found it breath-taking. The wind was just right. the moon was shining so bright, and i felt like a princess in my prince's arms. Alot of people talked about me being a complete "virgin mary" at school because at the time "losing your virginity" i swear it was a trend, and i was one of the few girls who had said i wanted to wait. Darren had told me that he wanted me to be his first and i his, so we knew we would one day do it together.

We were sitting on the shore, on Darrens beach blanket looking at the moon. My dress wasn exactly a dress but a light almost see through beach wrap. I remember feeling awkward because he was so close to me and when we were talking he would take long glances at my body. I remember there was a moment where he kissed me and he gently moved his hands onto my breast and i felt my whole body lose it. (i had always loved his hands, they were big and strong :)) i whimpered when he did it and he looked into my eyes he said "Kara your the most beautiful gift god has given me, some times i feel as if i i dont even deserve your presence. Kara i would love to lay you down right here on this beach and make sweet passionate love to you".

I smiled at him and he smiled back we kissed for about 30 minutes and i felt him slide his hands between my legs, my body started to shake and it felt so good. He brought me close to him and gently massaged my thighs, i know i moaned because there was a certain point where i felt something hard on me i knew it was him, he had control of my body and he knew how to touch me and it made me feel soooo good. He kissed my neck and my brests and then he slowly got on top of me, he asked me if i was ready to be one with him and i knew what he ment. He slowly spread my legs apart and as gently as he could he slid into me. The amount of pain i felt made me almost lose it, he saw my face and he wanted to stop, but i knew i would never forgive my self if i ruined such a beautiful moment. i told him to keep going so he did.

I can remember the sound of his voice as he moaned, it was a beautiful thing, after around 25 mintues of his kissing me and asking me if i was ok or if i wanted to stop it started to feel better. He held onto me and slowly started thrusting into me. I couldn't belive what i was feeling it felt soooo good, i didnt know my body had the capapbility to capture such an explosion. I felt him slow down and i dont what happen but there was a certain part of inside of me he touched and i went crazy, i buried my head in his neck and he held me so tight, we orgasmed together. It was the most amazing night of my life.

After i began to cry and so did he, i saw the tear roll down his eye and i wiped it off his face and told him how much i loved him and how much he ment to me. We held eachother, untill morning. We didn't use a condom and Darren felt guilty after, i had to calm him down and tell him everything would be alright (which luckily for me it was). When i told him i wasn't pregnant he looked at me and he said it wouldn't of made a difference if you were, i asked him what he ment and he said that having a child with me would be the greatest. he said "give me a daughter that looks just like you Kara, what more could i ask for". I loved him sooo much sometimes i felt like i could totally lose my mind.

I am 19 now and so is Darren, of course, we are still together. we got married in may of last summer as soon as school let out and we graduated. We both attend the same college and are extremely happy together. We have our own place and he is already garunteed a job at the office with which his father works. He wants me to get pregnant and stay home but im considering it........ Im actually pregnant i found out two days ago and it reminded me of our first time. so i decided to share it with you. I dont know how im going to tell him but when i do he will be estatic and i can't wait to see that beautiful smile of his light up the world.

To all the girls and guys out there, your virginity is a precious gift that you have complete control over. Look at it as the best gift you can give to the one you love the most. So dont give it away carelessly and when you do give it away, give it away carefully. I was not smart to have sex with out a condom my first time but let me tell you something it was with a man i was in love with and if i had gotten pregnant he would have been there to support me and love me regardless.

To my heart, my soul, and my reason for living....Darren. I love you baby, and i always will <3 :)

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